“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” Theory of evolution
Why is it hard to change? What does it take to make long-lasting change? Why do we say we want change but in reality resist it? Why is change essential to continually feeling happy and satisfied with life? A life coach in Houston, TX understands these concepts and can guide you toward finding the best answers for your unique self.
Have you ever been told that you need to change your behavior, attitude or mindset? Or, that you need to be more patient with your subordinates to be a more effective manager? Did someone tell you that to be a better spouse you need to be more honest, show more of your emotions or improve how you manage your emotions? Many people who come to me as a life coach and executive coach in Houston, TX tell me these experiences have happened to them.
Although at first you may have met these suggestions with inner resistance, after thinking about it did you agree that it would be good to change? Perhaps you’ve tried to change your temper or behaviors. You might have had some success in doing it too but, after some time, did you notice you returned to the previous patterns?
If any of this sounds familiar, then a life coach or executive coach in Houston, TX may help you, depending on the area where the change is needed!
Why Personal Change Can Be Difficult?
Coaching sessions with a professional coach involve encouraging change. But, what is the mechanism of the personal change? What do you need to consider when trying to improve yourself and create a better version of “you,” as a leader, spouse or parent? These are questions that a professional coach can help you to answer.
The reality is that changing habits and behaviors is not easy to do. This is because of how our brain and nervous system operate. Habits and behavioral patterns are set chains of neuron connections in our brain that act without our conscious involvement.
We do not have to think about our behavior; instead, it just happens. This is a great help to us as it enables us to then focus our energy on other important activities. We humans are a combination of set patterns. Not too long ago, scientists thought it is impossible to change how people behave or think. That is, until neuroscience became a recognized field in the 20th century and revealed that all the neuro chains in our brains are flexible.
What was the consequence of this finding? As a quality professional coach would tell you, it showed that with conscious and consistent effort, one can change any behavior, develop any skill, form a different outlook on life and start to both feel and act differently.
It is through inner work, encouraged during coach sessions, that we can change the physical settings of our neurons, which are responsible for how we show up in the world and how we feel about ourselves. Change is difficult because it requires altering the physical setting of neuro chains within the brain. This is the basis of what a life coach or executive coach in Houston, TX understands.
It requires time, dedication, motivation, and consistent effort until the new physical chain of neurons is set. We know this event occurs when we can observe the effortless new behavior or when a new attitude becomes natural to us.
So, How to Change?
First, you need to understand WHY. If someone told you that you need to change, you perhaps did not rush to put this change into action. The natural reaction when we are told to do something new is to resist because our brain is used to going through the known pathways, and outside advice won’t change the mental tracks. This is why the brain will resist, ignore, fight or critique a change force that comes from outside. Thus, we need to answer the question ourselves – WHY do I need to change? When the brain finds sufficient reasons and motivation, then the process of finding new neuro connections will begin. Doing it on your own can be challenging, though, so a life coach or executive coach can be your partner in self-discovery and self-observation.
You need to SEE the desired results. Defining the desired outcome, with as many details as possible, will help the brain set the map of what to form. If you say, “I want to stop being irritated by stupid questions” – you do not give the brain an alternative change state to create. In this case, the only direction your brain sees is “being irritated.” Instead, you might want to say “I want to be patient, curious and helpful when people ask me questions even though they might sound stupid in the beginning.” Again, professional coaching support will help you, quickly identifying the new destination for your subconscious brain.
When the Old Habit Is Fighting for its Place…
Habits, behaviors, and attitudes have been formed to serve us in the past. The longer we practice a particular behavior, and the more incentives, rewards, and successes it brings us, the stronger the neuro connections are in our brain.
Breaking such a chain is comparable to a death and can seem too frightening to succeed without the assistance of a professional personal development coach or elsewhere. For example, say you came from a military background where being strict and tough was welcomed, and this is what allowed you to achieve success in the military career and manage people. In many companies today, collaboration and inclusion is more valued and expected, so you as a manager need to listen, understand, motivate and collaborate equally with your subordinates if you want to receive a promotion. Developing this skill will look challenging and even frighten you because for many years earlier the opposite skill helped you to survive and be successful.
But what is hard is not impossible. Think of it as expanding your skill set. You are not getting rid of the skills of being a tough, direct manager (in fact, there might be future situations where this skill set will be required). Instead, you are adding new skills of being collaborative, inclusive and listening to different opinions, and helping to form the best overall strategy.
Again, developing new skills will be easier and faster with a support of a professional coach.
Call me today at 713-569-0860 between 8:00 am and 6:00 pm Houston time, or write me email to schedule a free 30 conversation around your situation.